Saddles, T-squares, and Sippy Cups: Recovery

After Thea's birth and the D&C I felt pathetic and miserable and those feelings were exacerbated by my need of a shower. I had to wait all the following day till they felt confident that I wouldn't need a transfusion and were willing to remove my IV port. But even feeling pathetic and getting the discharge lecture from the midwife, being in that little room, well, I didn't realize the full extent of what my recovery would entail.

The OB estimated that I had lost a liter and a half of blood. I was now anemic from blood loss and warned that I would feel weak and lack energy. I nodded and agreed to take it easy but I didn't really know.

I didn't know about how hard it would be to carry my baby from one room to the other, or especially up the stairs. I didn't know about the pain I would have in my chest and back as my lungs failed to take in enough oxygen to keep my muscles strong enough to hold me upright. And after almost a week at home, feeling better, I didn't know how exhausting it would still be to walk from my car into a store.

I didn't know how sad I would feel about not really taking newborn pictures and especially how bad I would feel about not getting any pictures from Thea's blessing day. (I had wonderful help the week before and Chris was home during that week, but that Sunday I was all alone with all the kids. I felt lucky to get us all to church and get Thea blessed!)

All those things that are a little hard, like pictures and running quick errands, were suddenly draining and difficult and left mostly undone.

But on the other hand, I felt so blessed to have so much help this time around. My mother came for a week and Chris was able to take off for two more weeks after that. (That was a miracle in itself. I think Chris took two days off for each of the three previous births!)

In fact, there were many tender mercies that I was able to start counting after I had that first shower.

1. Thea was a good baby. She was happy and content and maybe even slept-I don't know I wasn't around for that. But since we had experienced a different kind of baby immediately after birth we knew that it could have been louder and more stressful all around the whole bleeding/D&C event.

2. I had a nurse whose competence belied her baby face. She was aware and on top of things in a calm, no-nonsense manner.

3. My doctor, who I had met that day, was a woman with small hands. She was also calm, direct, and encouraging in the face of a scary and new experience.

4. They hadn't removed the epidural yet.

5. Advances of modern medicine. Not to long ago I would have bled out and died from the hemorrhaging I experienced.

6. We had a wonderful friend who could stay with the kids all night even though we had originally planned on Chris coming home soon after the birth.

7. I would have a lot help after coming home. We found out a few months before the birth that CAT would offer two weeks PAID family leave for Chris! I really needed those weeks with him home and we could afford to take them after losing a month of salary due to rolling layoff time throughout the year.

The past three years or so, from the month that I had hoped to conceive a baby through 18 months of infertility to actually recovering from having my baby, have really helped me focus on those tender mercies that show the hand of the Lord in my life.