Church is Good

I have had a lot on my mind lately.

Going to TX. Staying in TX longer. Will Chris finish his phd before coming down to TX to pick us up? Before starting work? Will our house sell? When? When will we go to find housing? If the house doesn't sell will the kids and I stay in IN? And do the single parenting thing again? For how long? If the house doesn't sell soon will we rent it? Leave it on the market empty?

I didn't realize what a burden all these thoughts running, constantly running, through my head were to me till today. Maybe because they have been with me so long, like an old but difficult friend. ("You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for you nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least.") Or maybe they have finally just worn me down with the daily struggle to focus on the confidence I have felt for the last year that everything will work out (mostly a 'this too shall pass' kind of work out, not necessarily 'easy-peasy, pudding and pie' work out) and not the worry and doubt that surrounds the hows and whens.

I was in church with my dad and as so often is the case for me, the words of a song struck me, creating a yearning inside me that I hadn't realized was there.

In solemn faith of prayer
Cast upon me all thy care,

And my Spirit's grace shall be
Like a fountain unto thee.

Oh, how I wanted that fountain!!

Be obedient, I implore,
Prayerful, watchful, evermore,

And be constant unto me,
That thy Savior I may be.

Reverently and Meekly Now, hymn #185

I want it? Here's how I get it! Access to the Spirit and the Savior come when I put myself in the right places and provide the opportunities needed-like church or kneeling at my bedside.

So. Church is good.