A Mother's Instinct

Wow, that title made it seem like this post will be all profound and life-changing.

Actually, it was just one of those mornings that made me realize that I frequently do what I do because I know. I know what the getting ready will entail and what the trip there will be like and how the 5+ minutes of seeming happiness will not be enough to offset the trauma of the ride home.

Ian and Noah have both been fighting what seems to be a cold of some sort for more than a week now. Nothing really bad but just enough to make them fussy and hard to deal with. But after a week of Chris asking where I had taken the kids and having to respond 'no where' I was feeling a little guilty. What kind of mom was I? Was I just being lazy and it would really be worth it if I got them out somewhere?

This was enough to motivate a trip to the library. I soon learned that I shouldn't have ignored my instincts. It started when Noah broke down into a crying fit when I tried to put on his shoes. I should have thrown in the towel then. I mean he had been playing happily, was it really worth the upset? But I asked him and he seemed to prefer the idea of the library to staying home so we pushed on.

The second break down was not long in coming and was, in fact, on the way to the car. I had put all the cars and trucks Noah had been playing with that had to accompany him in his pockets. This was completely unacceptable. Nevermind that there were too many for him to carry in his hands! But did I quit? No! Really I am just too stubborn for my own good.

So after digging a few out for him to hold we press on. But a third fit ensues when he realizes the bus he wants is still in his pocket. There is no way I can get it under his coat while he is strapped into his car seat and I am driving so he has to wait. I should have turned around then. Maybe I wouldn't have been pulled over by the cop.

No lie, I got pulled over. (No, Mom, I wasn't speeding.) This was enough to quiet Noah for awhile but after a short exchange with the officer Ian loses it. I don't know if the cop made a mean face at him through the window or what but he screamed the rest of the way to the library. Noah, of course, took exception to this and joined in. (I know you are wondering so I will tell you, my plates were expired. Not our fault but not part of this story.)

So we get out at the library. Noah is pretty happy at the prospect of being 'here' and is all smiles as he gets out of the car. Ian stops crying until I try to push the stroller up the curb. After that he wants out and was not shy about letting every possible person know about it. No big deal, it's not far to the kiddie section, I will carry him.

We walk in the doors and I glance over and see the doorway boarded over and remember that the kiddie section will be closed for a month as they do renovations or some such nonsense. But did we turn around and go back to the car? No way! After all that we should at least get a book or two, right?

The first aisle had some board books on bottom so I grabbed a few and we were out of there. (Ian was starting to realize that he was just not happy in general and being carried wasn't going to be sufficient to ease all that was wrong.)

The ride home seemed almost pleasant with Ian's periodic screams of frustration and Noah's non-sympathetic upset at the noises Ian was sharing with us.

By the time they were both down for their afternoon naps I could only shake my head and mumble 'I should have known."